I’m realising why Lou and I sometimes clash, but also
why I can understand some of her frustrations and the way see perceives the world.
The above photo shows Lou (left) and myself (right) both at approximately 15 months old.
This is why we can clash:
- She likes the light and I like the dark! Lou will only sleep at night if her lamp is on – she will often wake up and not be able to get back to sleep if it hasn’t been left on! I will only be able to sleep if its pitch black. Moo on the other hand is just the same as me, this is why its very difficult if they were to share a bedroom!
- She likes loud and I like quiet! Lou will mask sounds like Moo’s crying and the hoover with a much louder sound! I have perferations on my ear drum and if exposed to loud sounds my ear vibrates and its very uncomfortable! I like to take myself off to a quiet place and this is something we are trying to work on with Lou.
- She’s ‘in your face’ and I’m ‘please don’t get too close!’ Lou hasn’t quite got the idea of personal space and will very often get right up in people’s faces when talking to them, and sometimes hold their face to know that they are listening to her! Whereas I find it quite uncomfortable if someone is right up ‘in my face!’ I will often step back to give myself more personal space.
- Lou has no ‘stranger danger’ and will talk to anyone to the point where she’ll sit next to someone, try and hug them and ask: “are you my Nanna?!” Whereas I will only talk to someone I don’t know if they address me first.
- I feel the cold and Lou is always “too hot” as she says! I love wearing layers, whereas she will strip down to underwear as soon as she gets home!
Although there are many opposites I understand the frustrations Lou has, for example, a label in clothing – I remember being at school and being distracted by an itchy label the whole day, to the point where I found it difficult to concentrate on my school work.
I therefore cut a lot of Lou’s labels out and buy her soft clothing such as leggings and T shirts, I bought her some sparkly tights, then remembered how itchy I’d felt in some I had!
I can understand why Lou gets anxious before leaving the house and therfore use visuals and always reinforce what is going to happen, I avoid crowded places as I think if I can cope, neither can Lou. We tried ballet classes a few months ago, turned out to be not for Lou! But the waiting/changing rooms put me off from the start, crowded, can’t move, kids stepping over, pushing into us, people moving our belongings – I couldn’t wait to get out, and Lou had the mother of meltdowns once we got outside!
I am so passionate to continue my fight for help for my daughter, even though we are opposites – we also feel the same a great deal of the time! Understanding is key!