I believe strongly in getting things out of my head and vent via this Blog, a head full off overthinking and bad thoughts is never a great place.
I want to explain to everyone why I get so angry and pent up, maybe one day I’ll have the strength to do this, but for now I’ve decided to write how I’m currently feeling into a poem..
There’s a reason why…
There’s a reason why I don’t like it when my children cry,
There’s a reason why I attend to their every need,
There’s a reason why I put their needs before my own,
There’s a reason why I’m careful who I leave them with,
There’s a reason why I check on them at night, constantly
and just watch them sleeping, and breathing.
There’s a reason why I get up every morning,
no matter how rubbish I feel,
There’s a reason why I talk to them, read to them,
give them as much time as I physically can.
Yes some people may think I’m mean, possibly
extreme, I’ve been called ungreatful for ‘all that
I’ve cut people out that make me want
to scream and shout.
But if they only knew what I do,
would they understand then?
There’s a reason I kiss them, hug them and
show them I love them,
Isn’t that what every mother should do?
Sadly, not true and this is what breaks my heart.
My job here as a mummy is to protect, and will do
that no matter who gets upset.
Yes, I worry, I fuss, and clean and scrub,
I think about my children day and night,
sometimes I struggle to sleep,
I want to do my best, I want to make them happy,
I will think about their needs until my very last breath…
There’s a massive reason why.