Today I asked for help…
I always find this is a sign of weakness on my part. I had got to the point of almost giving up my current fight for support for Lou last week. Then I look back at the hours I’ve put into this Blog in it’s 3 months, and think “just carry on, just carry on.”
As I discussed in my previous post regarding sibling jealousy, we thought that Lou’s behaviour may improve as Moo grows older and becomes on the move, walking and talking more.
In fact we find as a family, that Lou’s behaviour is in fact worse at home, I have recently described it as appalling, and sometimes unbearable. I love writing positive posts, I love sharing the things that are working, but I hold my hands up and say “we need help.”
We received Family Support through our local children’s centre, we were discharged in January 2016 as we came on leaps and bounds with strategies in terms of visual timetables, bedtime routine, ensuring clear and consistent boundaries and methods for calming anger and frustration, such as using a ‘calm tent’ and squeezing a teddy whilst lying flat on her back. These methods all worked for approximately a month or 2, it’s hard to tell exactly when it started to all get a bit crazy again. I was so pleased how far we’d come as a family, so I was not wanting to admit defeat with our recent issues. Dealing with anger outbursts and flying objects at our heads is hard, Lou is so heavy to carry now so if she’s throwing objects I usually now have to remove myself and Moo from the room rather than removing Lou herself. If I place her in a ‘safe zone’ like her bedroom in her ‘calm tent’ she will pull the stairgate so hard she can lift it from the bottom and escape.
I worry (I worry a lot!) That through this behaviour, Lou is going to hurt herself if Lou, and it’s my job to protect them both. Rather than productively exploring toys such as small world houses and people, Lou will prefer to flip Moo over onto the floor and has started ‘slam dunking’ her onto her lap. If she has a strong grip on Moo I literally will have to prize her hands from the grip she has on Moo. I wonder if this occurs in all households with a child who has similar difficulties, I often think like I need to be a ‘fly on the wall’ to see that I’m not the only one. It’s incredible how much time and energy this takes up, my partner and I have recently described our current situation as:
“2 adults that police our child’s behaviour.”
It is scary to watch Lou in full seeker mode, it’s almost like in her head you can see whizzing, she cannot be still and will climb and jump off furniture, if you try and talk her down she cannot listen her brain is whizzing so fast she’s simply not taking the information in. She is constantly looking around for items to touch and bang on.
Lou also petrifies me near the busy road we have to cross to her Pre School setting, if she’s feeling like she needs to offload before we get home, like today, she will sit on the path and after crossing a road will attempt to run back towards the road, not seeing any dangers. Lou wore reins until she was 3 and a half, they are now to small but I wonder what to do for the best, it’s so difficult when others her age she interacts with don’t have a need for reins anymore.
Therefore today I contacted my local children’s centre again and I self referred our family back into support, we need the help and I’m now not ashamed to admit it.
I will post again when I hear more, let’s keep fingers crossed 🙂
*Photo contains my old Blog URL.