I am really trying to be positive at the moment, I’m trying to find positives in everyday.
* I refer to my daughter’s as Lou (5) and Moo (2) when blogging.
I just wanted to write a little bit about life at home, and also when out and about. My eldest daughter (5) felt deeply jealous towards her younger sister (2) even before she was born, we held out until I was 7 months pregnant before we told her she was going to be a big sister. When we brought our new baby home 2 years ago, we had to be on constant watch as Lou would try and rock the Moses basket vigoursly, her main focus became her baby sister and if I was holding the baby Lou would try and gain my attention in any way possible, often by throwing any objects she could get her hands on out of her bedroom. She would try and tug at her sisters tiny legs, it must have been so difficult for her to understand why this new baby was taking up so much of Mummy’s time. As Moo became less independent on me in terms of feeding I was able to have more time with just myself and Lou, and as parents we were slightly relieved when Moo became more ‘durable’ but still, every minute has to be watched as her big sister would try and roll her over and rough-house play not realising her strength or how much pressure she was putting onto her baby sister. We had to reinforce ‘gentle’ or ‘kind’ hands every day. I still, to this day, cannot leave the 2 girls alone, not even to use the bathroom!
There were a few times that this also had to be reinforced at Lou’s early years setting but she had been used to being around other children from 9 months old when I returned to work after maternity leave. I admit to being a ‘hovering’ or ‘Helicopter’ mum even now that Lou is 5 as I’m always worried that she may hurt another child but I do find that I’m relaxing a little more since she has started school.
With Moo about to start Pre School I do have to watch her closely now at stay and play groups or when mixing with other children as she is pushing other children and snatching toys away from them, she seems to always go for the face. In my theory I think that Moo is hitting out perhaps as she sees all other children as if they are about to hurt her (like she experiences at home,) she is doing this to say “don’t mess with me” perhaps.
At home Moo isn’t ‘Queen Bee’ or ‘.Top Dog,’ therefore in her own educational setting she is copying the behaviours at home that she experiences every day with her sister.
We are always observing Moo at groups and activities where there are other children, we hope that starting Pre School will benefit her greatly with the positive reinforcement of the staff, who have already taught her sister.
We use a method where we demonstrate ‘like a feather’ to Moo of how our hands are kind towards other people and gentle like a feather.
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