I’ve lost my motivation lately, with so much going on like the Easter holidays, going away and then coming back 3 days early due to Lou having Chicken Pox! And now wondering if and when Moo will get them!
I’m struggling to find my next direction, Moo is going to take a bit longer than I first thought to settle into an early years setting and we’ve had a lot going on lately in terms of her being referred to the Paediatrician for her sensory issues and finding out that she too has Hypermobility and has been referred for Orthotic supports. I want to work for me, to get the old me back and give me a focus, but I have had to accept that my children, especially Moo, need me at home at the moment and then there’s the results of my initial Adult ASD assessment still to come and I’m confused as to whether I should return to the only career I’ve known for 13 years or try a new direction! In an ideal world I’d love to use the skills in researching, writing, blogging and social media that I’ve developed over the last year but finding it a struggle to find anything relevant.
Today (23/04/17) I was inspired by a friend who ran the London Marathon to raise funds for Acorns Children’s Hospice, who have helped her family a great deal. I got emotional watching the coverage to think about what an amazing achievement it is to do something like this. I was also delighted to hear that this year’s charity of the year for the London Marathon was ‘Heads Together,’ a charity that was founded by the Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry.
Read more here: www.headstogether.org.uk
Their aim is to end the stigma attached to mental health, which is something that I’m so pleased about. For many years I felt ashamed of having anxiety and depression, I didn’t openly talk about and try to hide how I was feeling, even from those closest to me. Even today I sometimes find that if I openly talk about mental health issues that people still tend to change the subject and I can tell (after years of teaching myself,) that this isn’t something that the person is comfortable talking about.
This week I watched a BBC programme called ‘Mind over Marathon,’ and it reliterated to me that there are so many benefits of exercise for mental health issues, exercise is also one of the most effective ways to improve your mental health.
“Regular exercise can have a profoundly positive impact on depression, anxiety, ADHD, and more. It also relieves stress, improves memory, helps you sleep better, and boosts overall mood.”
I’ve been struggling with my weight since 2009, when I had a severe bout of depression and ever since I took a certain sort of medication I’ve been struggling, after never going above a size 14 before the age of 27.
Since July ’16 I have been struggling with back pain and I’ve recently had physio sessions as it was found that my pelvis had been out of line since having Moo in March 2015. I found it difficult to walk and therefore difficult to do any sort of exercise, I also struggle to find the time or money for gym sessions due to having 2 young children at home. I recently explained during my initial assessment for ASD that I often felt ‘silly’ doing exercise, this is probably due to being laughed at as a child, I was tall, un-coordinated and clumsy, I didn’t like looking silly or drawing attention to myself and therefore I’d avoid situations that didn’t make me feel comfortable. As an adult I haven’t stepped foot in a gym since my last experience where a gym member commented to the gym instructor: “you’ve got your work cut of there,” implying about myself which really hurt me and I never went back.
I’m very much in the “I don’t care what people think” mode at the moment so I decided to download a walking app on my phone and I took a picture of how I currently look as a motivational tool, (as I hate having my photo taken!)
When you have sights such as these it’s a fantastic motivation:
I felt so motivated when I returned home after my walk and I’m hoping that it does eventually turn into a bit of a run! I don’t think I’ll be running the London Marathon any time soon, but I do hope to try and be involved with some sort of sponsored event next year.
Thanks for reading 🙂